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Nigeria’s Judiciary: The Temple of Injustice and the Theatre of the Absurd

Nigeria’s Judiciary: The Temple of Injustice and the Theatre of the Absurd  In the grand amphitheater of Nigerian governance, where truth is...

Nigeria’s Judiciary: The Temple of Injustice and the Theatre of the Absurd 




In the grand amphitheater of Nigerian governance, where truth is a fugitive and integrity an outcast, the judiciary stands as the lead performer in a tragicomedy so absurd that even the best playwrights of history would struggle to imagine it. Yesterday, in another episode of its endless soap opera, the judiciary upheld the proscription of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), confirming what we all suspected: the Nigerian courts no longer serve justice; they serve the highest bidder, the most ruthless politician, and the most well-fed god of corruption.  


One must admire the sheer dedication of Nigerian judges to their craft—the craft of judicial gymnastics, where they bend laws like acrobats in a circus and twist logic like a contortionist desperate for applause. The proscription of IPOB is a masterpiece of such absurdity that even the gods of irony must be clapping in admiration. Here is an organization that exists lawfully across the world—recognized in civilized societies as a peaceful movement advocating self-determination. But in Nigeria, a land where truth is illegal and justice is a crime, IPOB is labeled a terrorist group while actual terrorists are labeled "repentant."  


What a sight to behold! The mighty Nigerian judiciary, that sacred temple of fairness, that noble guardian of the rule of law—now reduced to a marketplace where judgments are auctioned to the highest bidder. It is said that justice is blind, but in Nigeria, justice is not just blind; it is also deaf, mute, and conveniently amnesiac.  


How else do we explain the legal wizardry that led to IPOB’s proscriptions while Boko Haram terrorists, bandits, and Fulani herdsmen continue to enjoy presidential pardons, foreign scholarships, and juicy government contracts? Oh, but let us not question the wisdom of our learned justices, for they operate on a level of reasoning so sophisticated that mere mortals cannot comprehend it. To them, an unarmed IPOB member waving a flag is more dangerous than an AK-47-wielding terrorist who burns down villages and slaughters innocent Nigerians.  


Ladies and gentlemen, let us all pause for a moment and appreciate the sacred texts from which our judges derive their wisdom. No, not the Constitution. No, not the Nigerian Criminal Code. Those books are mere decoration.The real guiding principles of Nigerian justice are as follows:  


This sacred scroll dictates that court rulings must favor the ruling government, no matter how ridiculous the argument. If the government says rain is dry and the sun is cold, then so it shall be by court order.  

 Woe unto any case that lacks financial lubrication! A judgment without bribes is like a soup without seasoning—tasteless and unacceptable.  


 In these sacred verses, the law applies strictly to the poor and the opposition but bends generously for the rich and powerful. Steal a loaf of bread, and you shall be jailed for life. Steal billions from public funds, and you shall be invited for national honors.  


When the court upheld IPOB’s proscription, legal scholars across the world must have choked on their coffee. How does a government that pardons terrorists, negotiates with kidnappers, and begs bandits to "repent" suddenly develop the courage to outlaw a peaceful movement advocating self-determination?  


Perhaps the judges attended a special legal seminar titled "How to Criminalize Innocence and Legalize Oppression." Maybe they took a masterclass in "Selective Justice for the Highest Bidder."  


And let us not forget the official reasoning behind IPOB’s proscription it was declared a "threat to national security." The same national security that Boko Haram has not threatened, that herdsmen massacres have not jeopardized, that the grand looting of national treasury has not undermined! But IPOB, a group that merely asks for the right to self-determination, is the real threat? If logic were a person, it would have packed its bags and left Nigeria by now.    


It is truly a wonder how Nigerian judges manage to sleep at night, knowing full well that their rulings contribute to the misery of millions. Do they count stolen votes instead of sheep? Do they read bank alerts instead of bedtime stories? Or do they recite their infamous mantra: "May the highest bribe win!


When the history of Nigeria is written, the judiciary will be remembered not as the defender of the common man but as the chief architect of his suffering. The judges who sit in their polished chambers, pretending to uphold justice while selling it like cheap merchandise, will one day realize that no amount of stolen wealth can buy back a lost conscience.  


But until then, the show must go on. The judiciary, like a bad comedian who does not know when to leave the stage, will continue performing its tragic comedy. They will continue twisting laws, jailing the innocent, freeing the guilty, and reducing justice to a mockery.  


And so, as we witness yet another ridiculous ruling, let us salute the Nigerian judiciary for its dedication to absurdity. Long live the honorable judges, the grandmasters of hypocrisy, the architects of oppression, the loyal servants of corruption!  


For in this country, justice is no longer blind it is dead, buried, and forgotten.


Family Writers Press International



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